Traffic report advis'ry wether 4cast!!!

Fresh in from the JJB BamJam Copper...

All roads are crap! But wether is good. Beeter to stay home today since the following roads are clozed: i95 north and Sout bound, pahlem, 287, 87 and all bridge are just crammed. But wether still good. Look outside. Lick your thumb, stick it in yur butt for a second, then stick it too the wynd. If your thumb feels cold and breezy, maybe stay in bed for another hour. If your thumb tase like a poopey then you mixed up my instructions a bit. If your thumb is warm, then stay home and enjoy the wether, or perhaps your never took it out yur butt and can't follow simple instructionz. Or maybe you enjoy a little too much?

Anyway. Good day to stay home. Not spoken from personal experienz of corse! Since the whole butt thumb thing, well, uh. Ew.